Steamer Joy is Four Quarters in an Arcade
By Arnold Irish St. Louis Post-Dispatch
The Steamers are very much alive in the Major Indoor Soccer League playoffs, but their
pinball season officially ended Sunday on their final MISL trip, and the best players (also
the worst) have been elected by their peers.
The Steamers dropped the last quarters into the slots at "Pittsburgh Pinball Works" on a
layover in Pittsburgh, which they consider the Mecca of coin-operated games, en route
home from Buffalo last weekend.
"Everybody was disappointed last year when Pittsburgh lost its MISL franchise," defender
Steve Pecher said.
"I've been in that airport half my life," said midfielder Ty Keough, who knows the facility
so well he takes a shortcut that enables him to stop for a dish of ice cream and still beat
everyone to the game room.
"Everybody is mad if his per diem is an even sum, because if a half-day is involved, we get
quarters in our envelopes that we can put to immediate use," Keough said. "Of course,
some of the guys aren't eating after they go to the machines. I can play pretty long on one
quarter, though."
That is an understatement. Defender Sammy Bick and Keough were the only unanimous
first-place choices in their favorite coin-operated games - Keough in Missile Command
and Bick in Asteroids. Bick also claimed the all-around title.
"Sammy deserves the all-around title," Keough said. "I'm a specialist in my own little
pond, but he plays all the games well, and he's making a run at me in my specialty. I got a
head start, but he's developed his shooting finger in Asteroids, a forerunner of Missile
Command. It's all a question of timing. Target and fire."
Bick was modest. "I learned all I know from my younger brother, John," he said. "He
plays three hours on one quarter."
Bick describes Missile Command as the most challenging game.
"You have six cities, and the object is to defend them from UFOs with missiles from your
three bases," he said. "With each round, the UFOs come at you faster and faster."
Keough, who would make a good Civil Defense director, puts the UFOs out of
commission with dispatch. "The secret is to take'em out before they get off the ground," he
said.
"We name our cities and we try to protect St. Louis. If Buffalo gets blown up, it's no big
deal."
Forward Emilio John, a Nigerian by birth, defends Lagos, Nigeria. Forward Emilio
Romero defends Denver, his hometown.
Just as Bick and Keough are bona fide pinball wizards, there are those who never seem to
get the hang of it. Coach Pat McBride edged forward Yilmaz Orhan for the dubious honor
of Least Valuable Pinball Player.
Keough said McBride deserved the LVPP on the basis of most money spent with no
results.
But Bick gave the nod to Orhan. "Alone in his field," Sam said.
Rookie Don Ebert, Galaxian co-champion with Pecher, thought Orhan would be a shoo-in
for the worst award because he "loves to donate to the machines' cause. He's a nightmare."
Mike Kavanaugh, the Steamers' public relations director and a nominee for LVPP, agreed
that McBride won the award on merit and revealed that the coach is a double threat.
"Pat's the worst at gin rummy, too," said Kavanaugh, who with McBride and assistant
coach Tim Rooney conducts what might be called the "oldest reliable permanent floating"
gin game on the team.
Ebert wasn't surprised he shared the Galaxian crown.
"I've thrown enough money into those machines," he said, "to invest in a chain
nationwide."
For every Bick and Keough, there are numerous players who rationalize why they aren't
members of the elite.
For example, Tony Bellinger cites the fact that he's a lefthander. "Munchies, our nickname
for Pac-Man, has only one control stick," he said. "Most of the other games are geared for
righthanded people. The harder hand to control on those games is the right hand. At least,
that's my reason. My excuse."
Then there's the I-excel-at-another-game routine.
"The guys hate to play backgammon with me," Orhan said. "I haven't lost in backgammon
to anyone on this team."
Only because, "Yil plays by those Turkish rules," Ebert said.
"Ping-pong is my game," forward Tony Glavin said. "That and pool. In Scotland, I was
brought up on snooker."
Forward Mal Roche, London-born but a U.S. citizen for the last decade, praised pinballers
Romero, John ("total concentration") and Bick ("an enthusiastic combatant"), but
emphasized that pool is his game.
"Glavin and I have our own championships," Roche said. "The title sways from day to
day."
Pinball wizards, of course, must change with the times.
"Last year we played the manual pinballs and didn't even touch the electronic machines,"
Romero said.
"This year everyone plays the video games and only a few are left to play the older
machines."
That , to Kavanaugh, is a disturbing trend.
"The computer games don't make the same noises as the old pinball games," he
complained. "Now all the new ones make astrological noises."
Kavanaugh may be suffering from future shock.
"It used to be you got five balls for a nickel. Now you get three turns for a quarter," he
said. "By the time I get finished reading the directions, it's time to get on the next plane."
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